I Will Always Love You
by JustASmallTownGirl123
Summary: "But what if I don't want to say goodbye?" Starts at the end of season 13 premiere.


I Will Always Love You

Whitney Houston

_If I should stay_

_I would only be in your way_

_So I'll go, but I know_

_I'll think of you every step of the way_

"Elliot put his papers in."

Five words, that was all it took for Olivia's world to come crashing down around her. The last remaining shreds of hope that she had been holding onto for the past three months were torn apart. Any dreams of her partner, her best friend, coming back were suddenly gone, wrenched from her grasp maliciously.

"You wanna take a day?" Cragen asked, concerned.

"I'm fine." She managed to choke out around the lump of emotion in her throat.

He told her that he was sorry and she nodded in thanks, not trusting her voice. Olivia left the room, grabbed her jacket off the back of her chair and headed for the elevators. She could feel her resolve slowly cracking and before she could reach her destination she ducked into an empty interrogation room.

Leaning against the wall she silently cried, grief, hurt, and betrayal spilling out with her tears. It wasn't as if he was dead, but since he couldn't seem to pick up a damn phone and return one of her numerous calls, he might as well be. They hadn't spoken since the day of the shooting, he'd left right after giving his statement and at the time she didn't blame him, he'd just shot a kid.

But when one week turned into two, and then a month and then two months passed by she became angry with him. Angry for leaving without saying goodbye. For expecting her to just go on like nothing had happened, like half of her heart hadn't just been ripped out of her chest.

It felt like Gitano all over again, but this time he was the one that had left without warning. The look he had given her in the squad room as Sister Peg was dying in her arms and Jenna lay already dead beneath his, was easy to read. Elliot had shot Jenna because he was afraid that she would be shot next. It was why his papers were now sitting in Cragen's office, because once again he had chosen her over the public, over the people they were both sworn to protect.

Olivia wiped the salty tears off of her face and slowly calmed down enough to leave the room and take an elevator down to the lobby and hail a cab.

_And I will always love you_

_I will always love you_

_You, my darling you_

_Mmm...mmm _

As she trudged up to her apartment her mind wandered back to the day they'd first met. She never would've believed on that first day that they would stay partners for the next twelve years and that him leaving her one day would cause her this much pain. There was one thing she had known though; from the first moment his eyes met hers, that she loved him.

He was married with kids, so she pushed her feelings down, but they never went away completely. When he and Kathy had almost gotten a divorce she'd still kept them hidden, not wanting to influence his decision.

Now part of her wished that she would've told him, because maybe now she wouldn't be going through this hell. Maybe instead of unlocking the door to a cold, dark apartment, she could be coming home to him. The mere thought brought all her emotions bubbling back to the surface and once inside, she sank down against the wall, burying her face in her hands as she pulled her knees up against her chest.

The strangled sobs that came out of her sounded unnatural, almost animalistic, it was the sound of her heart breaking, even though there wasn't much left to break. Her cries became so loud that she didn't notice that she wasn't alone until someone was picking her up and walking her over to the couch. She didn't even reach for her gun, she knew who it was and that made her cry even harder.

He pulled her onto his lap and held her firm against his chest as she continued to sob. He rocked her back and forth, his fingers trailing over her back soothingly. For a moment she leaned into his touch and let him comfort her, but then she remembered that the man she was crying over was the one comforting her and anger flared up inside her.

Olivia quickly vacated his lap and stood in front of him, "What ar-are you doing h-here Elliot?" Her accusatory tone was marred by her hiccupping breaths.

"Cragen told you." He stated, standing up as well.

"Yeah, thanks for that, it gave me a whole lot of closure. I didn't realize twelve years wasn't long enough to warrant a goodbye in person" She snapped, her tears had stopped and now she was gearing up for a fight.

"Liv..."

She cut him off, "No, do not 'Liv' me, Elliot. After three months of completely ignoring me you don't get to waltz back in and expect me to just- I don't even know, what is it you were expecting?"

_Definitely not that look in your eyes, or the way you cried like your whole world was ending,_ he thought. Those were things he had been doing for the past few months and he hadn't expected to see his pain reflected in her beautiful brown eyes.

"I wanted to explain." Elliot replied lamely, not brave enough to voice the thoughts in his head.

"Don't even bother." She spat, her words felt like a slap to face. "We both know why you did what you did and this time I'm not going to take the blame. You made a decision. You pulled the trigger."

"And do you know how much that kills me!" He yelled, throwing his hands up in frustration. "I killed a teenager, Olivia! God, she was barley older than Lizzie and she died because I couldn't handle the thought of losing you."

"But you have lost me." She whispered, tears welling up in her eyes again. "I've been lost for months, trying to figure out how to do my job without you and the small chance that you might come back has been the only thing keeping me at that desk. What the hell am I supposed to do now?"

_Bittersweet memories_

_That is all I'm taking with me_

_So goodbye please don't cry_

_We both know I'm not what you, you need_

_And I will always love you_

_I will always love you, you_

His heart broke at her admission and he shrugged sadly in answer to her question, "I honestly don't know Liv, I've been trying to figure that out myself." Elliot paused; he hadn't been planning on telling her tonight but with the way things were going he didn't want to keep anything else from her. "Kathy and I got a divorce."

"What? Why?" she was astonished, because in her mind,him quitting seemed like it was a decision Kathy would have wanted him to make.

"We tried to fix things. I thought that me being home would help, but I couldn't get the shooting off my mind and I took my anger out on what little was left of our relationship." He sank back onto the couch, resting his head in his hands.

They were both silent for a long time. Olivia was trying to absorb everything he had just told her and Elliot was trying to find the courage to tell her what he had originally come here to say.

"I'm not going back." He said looking up at her, his eyes followed the tear that slowly wound its way down her cheek.

"I didn't expect you to. Cragen and I both think that you deserve it." She paused, taking a shaky breath. "But where does that leave me?"

"It leaves you with options Liv." He stood back up, touching her arm tenderly. "Maybe this is our chance to finally have a clean break. Maybe this is the world telling us that we've been tangled up in each other's lives long enough and that we just need to say goodbye."

His voice cracked on the last word and sent another tear spilling down Olivia's cheek.

"But what if I don't want to say goodbye?" A sob escaped her lips and her hand flew up to cover her mouth, but her body continued to shake with silent cries and she closed her eyes against the fresh wave of tears.

Elliot moves his hand to cup the back of her head and brought her in close, letting her rest her cheek on his shoulder as her tears soaked his shirt. "Shh, it's okay."

She took a few deep breaths and leaned up so her lips were right beside his ear, "What-what if this is the world tell-telling us that we should just cut the crap. That th-this is our chance to forget about everything else and be-be there for each other."

"What do you mean?" He whispered, his heart beating a thousand miles a minute.

"I love you Elliot. Always have, always will." She leaned back studying his eyes for a reaction.

The smile she had missed for three months graced his lips and he didn't bother using his words and instead claimed her lips with a passionate kiss that filled them both with love, happiness and so much more.

_I hope life treats you kind _

_And I hope you have all you dreamed of_

_And I wish you joy and happiness_

_But above all this I wish you love_

A week later Olivia's papers joined Elliot's and their transfers to teaching positions at the Academy were finalized a few days later. When the news of their relationship spread, Cragen, Fin, and Munch weren't surprised at all and wished them the best of luck with requests to be invited to the wedding when the time came, because they all knew it was inevitable.

Teaching at the Academy would never come close to being partners on a team, but the ability to train and teach so that the new generation of New York's Finest could tackle the new monsters just as well as they had, came in as a close second.

Elliot and Olivia sorted through their demons together and slowly but surely became as close as they'd ever been. However they weren't perfect and fights would occur every so often, but they didn't take anything said during them to heart and no matter what happened on any given day they always ended their nights the same way...

Elliot slid under the sheets, pulling Olivia flush against his body and nuzzling his face in her neck. "Love you Liv."

"Love you too, El. Always."

_And I will always love you_

_I will always love you_

_I will always love you_

_I will always love you_

_I will always love you_

_I, I will always love you_

_You darling I love you_

_I will always, I will always_

_Love you_

**A/N: Well what'da ya think? This was my first SVU fic and I hope I did alright. Reviews would be amazing. Thanks for reading!**


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